Alone and afraid
by Elisses
Summary: Korra admits emotional defeat...?
1. Chapter 1

_((I do not own any of the characters affiliated with the Legend of Korra or Avatar- TLA franchise, I am a fan attempting to write a story. Here goes my first attempt…)) _

It was well into the night when Korra returned to the air temple. Her whole body ached furiously and melted under the heat of the armour. It had been a week since Mako, Bolin and Asami had moved in with her and the air benders; Tarrlok's taskforce raids had been successful in keeping Korra's mind distracted.

As Korra walked through the halls of the temple she could hear Tenzin's snoring resonating off the walls and her mind was racing with replays of the night's events. _There was no way she was getting to sleep with that racket_, she thought to herself.

Pain shot through her arm as she remembered that she had a pretty nasty gash in her arm that needed seeing to. Korra sighed, pouted, and strode back out the temple towards the springs. As she strode across the courtyard she began to remove her armour piece by piece, her wrist guards fell to the ground first, clattering against the hard stone. She left them behind her like a breadcrumb trail, she couldn't care less about the noise she was making she just needed to be out of this armour. It weighed her down and her impatience in taking it off only fueled her frustration_. "Bloody thing… shit…ow!"_ Korra muttered to herself as she pulled her left, now broken, shoulder plate off. Korra examined the wound; the cut was fairly deep and it ran from the back of her shoulder to her forearm. Her fine blue armour was stained with crimson red blood that had started to dry, forming a skin between her armour and her own flesh. The feel of the breeze was piercing making her wince. Korra slid to the floor panting slightly; eyes squeezed shut, trying to bear through the pain. Korra had exerted her physical energy; she lay defeated against the stone statue hands soaked in her own blood.

When Korra opened her eyes again a few moments had passed, she stared at her palms re-reading that evenings events. They had attacked Amon's second in command successfully arresting 3 equalists. They had proven to be outnumbered and so the team took out what they could before retreating. 16 men accompanied Korra and Tarrlok on their mission, and not all of them returned. Korra could see the faces of the fallen; 2 of their own. Korra's eyes felt forced open, she could see the bolts of electricity coursing through them, their bodies shaking uncontrollably, their screams spreading through her, the draining of life from their eyes. _"NO!" _Korra choked, as tears spilled over her eyes, her hand reaching up to her face as though she was forcing the thought from her mind. Her tears were stained with the blood from her body. _"I need someone too!" _She cried out, but the noise that came out sounded more like a howl than a sentence. Korra knew she was the avatar and that she had to be strong, but she was also only 17. She felt a bubble of guilt stirring in her stomach_, 'if she had only mastered the use all 4 elements…_ _if only she was strong enough to take Amon alone, all these other people would not get hurt for her cause…_' This was her first experience of death and she had caused it. When Korra had finished crying she became limp, her hand fell back down into her lap and her head drooped as she fell into an empty state of sleep.

A/N- would really appreciate some feedback on the style… also trying to decide on what happens next is tricky… had some ideas but, can't find one that fits just perfectly.


	2. Chapter 2

_((I do not own any of the characters affiliated with the Legend of Korra or Avatar- TLA franchise, I am a fan attempting to write a story.))_

Tenzin woke again when his head slipped from resting on his hands, his back ached from the uncomfortable position he'd fallen asleep in. He was sat on a chair by the hallway, he had been waiting for Korra to return from her mission to make sure she was okay but he had fallen asleep a few hours before she returned. He stretched out and went to check in on Korra's room, it was the same as last time, sheets half made door left wide open. A fresh wave of worry spread through his body, if she hadn't made it back by now things must have gotten serious. Trying to remain calm Tenzin sent out a party of guards to see if Korra was else where on the island.

* * *

Korra stirred slightly, she could hear voices calling out for her in the distance. Her natural instinct was to shout out, let everyone know where she was. But a little voice in her head made her hesitate. _'Do you really want to be found? Would it be so bad to just leave this world? You couldn't save two measly benders, how are you going to protect the whole world?' _The voice was weak, but its whispers still found a way to be heard, just long enough for Korra to listen.

* * *

He went to the training grounds and to the courtyard. He sighed with some relief when he found her gauntlet, _'At least she's home and safe…' _He had thought the words too soon, his eyes lay on Korra's slumped body and he could see the moonlight reflect in her blood that was still falling fresh from her wound. In that moment he didn't see Korra the courageous, undefeatable he saw her hidden side, the pain and the fear that she hid so well in her bold attitude. Even in her unconscious state he could see all the muscles taught in her face as they fought back tears. He had seen Korra scared when she had attacked Amon, but never thought he would see a Korra without hope. She looked empty. A broken shell.

Tenzin stood with his mouth open slightly in shock, the rest of his body frozen. After the initial shock of finding her like that, Tenzin was able to breathe and think more clearly. He bent down and pulled her across his back so he could carry her on his shoulders. He struggled towards the temple, and was aided with her weight when nearby guards had seen him.

* * *

Korra hissed and jolted slightly in reaction to a sharp stab that rippled through her arm. She could feel the skin that had split being pulled further apart; her weight was being passed from one body to another. Her eyes were blurred from the pain but she could faintly make out Tenzin as the figure who passed her over.

"_Hurry now, take her to her room, I'll fetch the medic" _Tenzin's voice was quick, thick with worry.

In the guard's haste he put pressure on her shoulder, white light pierced her view and a nauseating feeling brewed in her stomach. She groaned loudly and writhed in his arms until she felt cool sheets beneath her. Korra could hear the bustle of people moving around her room, trying to focus on their voices. Soon there was only Tenzin and a healer in the room. She could feel the hands of the healer on her arm as it cleaned her wound and sealed it shut. Though it took a few seconds to do, to Korra it felt like hours. She focused on Tenzin's deep breaths, mimicking him.

The white light began to fade around the edges, replaced with black; the dull colour soothed the burning sensation that pummeled inside her head. Slowly Korra opened her eyes so that they were half open, she looked over at Tenzin who was sat on a chair next to her bed, rubbing his temples until he looked up sensing her consciousness.

"_I'm taking you off the taskforce." _Tenzin said it bluntly _"…I don't trust Tarrlok, he has an ulterior motive… he's wearing you down" _The look in Tenzin's eyes struck at Korra's heart, his eyes were glazed rich with tears. Korra had to swallow back her own tears as she realized how much she valued her and Tenzin's relationship, her part time father and good friend.

Korra knew he was right, but it helped distract Korra: from Mako and Asami, from her air bending training, from the real threat she was going to have to face. It was true that the raids meant facing equalists but it was still so far from Amon. She nodded, before closing her eyes and turning her head to face away from him.

"…_Korra…" _Tenzin said her name with care, _"...Korra, I know Katara taught you healing as part of your training… at your standards, that wound was easy enough to fix, so why…" _His words caught in his throat, unable to finish his sentence. There was an eternal pause between his words and the creak of the floor that was Tenzin leaving the room.

Korra let out a long breath after Tenzin was gone. She held her eyes shut but could feel the hot tears leaking out. She opened her mouth, and croaked out _"I- I don't know_" it was the truth, she hadn't wanted to die but she hadn't wanted to save herself either. Her whole body shook violently as her sobs left her mouth into her pillow.

Korra sat by her window, watching the sunrise. She tilted her face up so that she could feel the first bursts of sun on her face. She felt it in her blood, the heat swimming round her body the fire bender in her harnessing the power it emitted. Glancing back at her room she watched as the light poured in, momentarily banishing her demons to the cracks, the corners and crevices.

She embraced the heat and left for an early training session, hoping to clear her conscience.

A/N: So I know a lot doesn't really happen but I hope you enjoyed it, and please review I love the feedback (good and bad) it really helps! x


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